Balancing Personal Space and Togetherness in Your Relationship

Most couples struggle with balancing personal space and togetherness in their relationship. Let's first understand what personal space in a relationship means. It means taking time to do things you love alone to help you recharge emotionally and self-growth. Is personal space in a relationship healthy? Yes, it is. For a couple to maintain a good relationship, both need to maintain a healthy distance from each other to pursue their interests. 

However, you all need to set boundaries and rules on what to do and not to do during this time. Personal space is important but it can make both of you drift apart.  This will require you to understand what healthy space entails and how it will be beneficial and strengthen your bond.

In this article, I will help you understand the importance of personal space, how to know your partner needs space, and ways to give your partner their space.

Importance of personal space in a relationship

  • Individuality

Personal space will give you and your partner time to explore your interests. This will prevent codependency, which means you rely on your partner when doing anything emotionally or physically. Doing what you like gives you a sense of fulfilment, which leads to a happy and healthy relationship.

  • Trust

Being clingy to your partner may seem like a lack of trust. It also gives a sense of suffocation, so time away from them gives them the freedom to be away from you, which strengthens your bond and trust. Personal space also promotes respect for each other's boundaries, which helps build deeper connections.

  • Improves communication

The ability to express yourself openly around your partner means you have good communication in a relationship. This means you can tell your partner when you need space without offending them. This also means your partner is honest, and you can express yourself around them without fear, which ensures satisfaction for both partners.

  • Personal growth

As partners do what they love, they bring new experiences to the relationship, ensuring the spark is kept. This also helps you recharge emotionally, self-reflect, and improve your mental health, allowing you to be your best version. This means you still grow as an individual even though you are in a relationship.

How to know your partner needs space

Less communication. On a normal day, your partner is talkative and offers their opinion when needed. Lately, however, they have been quiet and less responsive, which is a sign they need space. Your partner starts arguments or picks fights with you for no reason. Respect this decision and let them recharge.

They seem more irritable than usual. This is a dead giveaway that your partner needs you to give them space. They get cranky over the smallest things and have a short temper. This doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong; it could be their way of asking for some time to clear their head. After noticing this, use this time away from your partner to focus on yourself.

They avoid involving you in their plans. This can happen when your partner changes their schedule, such as changing their sleeping time or taking extra shifts at work. They do the simplest things, like running errands, and do not want to take you along. That’s their way of showing they need some time apart.

Show less affection towards you. Your clingy partner whose love language is physical touch and initiates intimacy most times has decreased the desire to be around you or doesn't initiate intimacy anymore. This could have a deeper reason but it could also be just them looking for some time alone. Being negative about things you do and pointing out your flaws could also mean they need personal time.

Ways to give your partner personal space

  • Define what “space“ means

When your partner asks for space, you need to ensure they explain what space they need. Space could mean moving out if you live together, or it could also mean giving them at least one day per week to themselves. This differs with every couple. Ensure you set healthy boundaries that will help strengthen your bond.

  • Show trust

When giving your partner space, you’ll need to trust them. Checking up on them excessively while they are away will make them feel overwhelmed. Discuss how often you’ll talk in a day or week, and do not ask too many questions about what they are doing.

  • Spend time with other people.

 Encouraging your partner to spend time with friends and their family members would be a good way to give them space. This will also give you time away from them to relax and spend time alone. Encourage them to do things they love while they are out there. This helps maintain a balanced social life and avoid co-dependency.

  • Open communication

Tell your partner when you need space, and be clear on what you want. Ensure your partner knows how much time you need, which will give them comfort and reassurance that they still have you. 

When your partner asks for space, don’t judge them and ask a million questions. I know it hurts, but you need to respect their decision and understand it’s normal for a relationship to ensure it remains healthy. 

  • Pursue separate hobbies

Planning to do your hobbies separately will encourage your partner to do the same. You could enable them to do activities they liked before you got together to promote new energy into the relationship. As you encourage your partner to pursue their interests, ensure you do the same.

Personal space is healthy for a relationship, but that doesn't mean it must happen to all couples, so balancing it and remaining together will vary in most relationships. Relationships need patience and understanding to create a healthy and fulfilling commitment. 

Balancing the two can be difficult, so if you need help, consider consulting a professional. A thriving partnership will require contributions from both parties; however, do not neglect your hobbies and things you love doing when you enter a relationship.

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